Not Me! Monday

Well, this past week and, today included, I certainly did not do any embarrassing things that I would be slightly ashamed of anyone knowing about or just maybe nothing happened that I am glad is over or almost over.
It was not me who quite possibly contracted H1N1 and has been sick since Wednesday. Nope, I did not feel sick all day Thursday with flu symptoms and it has not been me who has been constantly grabbing tissues and clearing my throat. And it definitely has not been me who has been obsessively worrying about my 10 month old son catching H1N1, nope, no me!
This past week I did not (twice) turn off my alarm clock and then sleep in right before I had to be out the door. I certainly would not use my son and his monitor as my alarm clock, hoping he would cry for me in time to get up. It was not me who woke up to the sound of my son crying for me and then look over at the clock and then realize I was late, panic and rush around and get ready because we did NOT have to get out the door as quickly as possible.
It was not me this morning who slipped and fell on a piece of wood while holding a 10 month old, trying to avoid the diesel fumes from a vehicle warming up in the driveway. It was not me who while falling with the 10 month old, used my adrenaline to prevent him from hitting the ground with his body or head and it was not me who hurt my left hip or twisted my left knee. It was not my 10 month old who then laughed at his silly mommy moaning on the ground while holding him saying "Mommy's hurt, mommy's hurt."
And lastly, it definitely is not me who wishes I was feeling 100% better because my house is NOT a mess and certainly does not need to be cleaned.